ARE YOU EXHAUSTED AND CRAVING MORE SPACE?
FIND OUT HOW TO GET IT IN 4 STEPS

Can you feel it too? It's the darkness. It's the cold. It's getting closer, creeping in. It's like one of those dark, vapor-like demons that envelops the female lead of some freaky 80s movie about the paranormal. I'm the female lead. And it's coming for me. No matter how many viewers scream at the screen, trying to warn this girl to get out of the house, turn the other way, RUN!!!.....she can't hear them. She walks blindly right into it the dark vapor. It eats her alive. We never see her again.

I spend a lot of time alone in the quiet. This is not new to me. I have always tended toward isolation. But, over the past year, my experience with the silence has shifted toward something magnificent and intimate.

It's Thursday AM and I just hopped out of the shower. I have a shower ritual that I practice each morning. And it goes like this: I sit down in the corner of the stall and let the hot water hit me. I lather up with my favorite rose body wash. I close my eyes and smell the delicious smells and I go inward. Everything else fades away and I check in with myself. Where am I? How am I feeling today? What's zooming around in my brain and occupying that space today? I have a super-active brain that has a very hard time slowing down.

OK. Maybe that sounded harsh. But, let me tell you where this is coming from. Many moons ago, my life was...let's say... shitty. Yep, I have alluded to that before. And maybe the story gets old, but in all seriousness....the reason I keep dredging up this old news is because:

Yep. I am quoting Soul II Soul lyrics. This has been playing over and over in my head all morning. In case you don't remember - a little gift for ya. 👇🏼

My relationship with gratitude began about 7 years ago when my relationship with my husband was in the shitter. I couldn't sleep at night. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. My mind raced with images of me as a single mom, splitting up the belongings my partner and I had curated from traveling around the world as younger, innocent souls, telling our kids we were no longer going to be the kind of family that lives in one house. It was all too much. I was sick to my stomach every day and I definitely couldn't sleep. I tried wine and I tried wine with Xanax. (Hey, I said it was bad. Please no judgement).